“A Child’s Letter from Heaven”
When I lost my son, everything changed including who I was. What I thought, believed and had faith in was washed away or challenged AND I felt I lost everything. There was a void I couldn’t explain and I couldn’t comprehend why my son died, why my son was gone. In many ways, I just felt suspended while the world kept turning. My son was dead…that’s all I knew…I was suspended, felt beaten and locked in time.
In this suspended state, the world wasn’t the same, didn’t make sense, and everything lost meaning. Losing my son made me wonder what this life was about. It’s not like I really knew what life was about but now I really didn’t know.
When people die, we are often just not finished yet. In no way was my life complete with my son. I wasn’t finished and so much was left to be said and we had so much left to do. More than anything, I had a deep longing to know where he was. I wanted to know if he was okay and I wanted to know if he was in the place I was going when I died. I wanted him to know how much I loved him and missed him. I wanted him to know how sorry I was he died young and I wanted him to know if I’d been able to do anything to change the outcome, I would have.
Losing my son early, created massive conflict in my spiritual beliefs. I was angry and wanted answers. I wanted a minute to choke out who was in charge. Alot of what I thought to be true didn’t make sense anymore. Let’s just say, I was not happy with the God I believed in and I was livid and disappointed in how things had played out.
In time….I worked through all of that so what ”I believe” or “you believe” really isn’t important here. It is important however to know, I’ve never met a parent, whether of faith or not, that didn’t want many of the same questions answered like I did. They also felt suspended and in a fog trying to understand “a reality” they didn’t ask for or want.
The “Letter from Heaven” I’m sharing was shared with me and I don’t know who wrote it nor did the person that passed it along to me. It may be confronting, parts were for me. It may not align with your beliefs, that’s not what’s important. I’m requesting that you let the message in the letter stand alone and if there is something that gives you peace, let it be. If it doesn’t, that’s okay. I’m not sharing this letter to create a debate on what we should believe. That’s not why I do what I do and it’s not why I’m sharing. I’m sharing because we all have a right AND choice to believe in what is helpful. I like to believe: In this “letter to a parent from a child in heaven”, at least in part, is what my son would want me to know or tell me. I think many of your kids, if able, might write some of the same. What resonates with me may not resonate with you but if any part of this is helpful, if it were written by your child, I hope it gives you a second of peace.
What you believe doesn’t necessarily have to be right. Oftentimes, DECIDING to believe in possibility or promise is more important than being right, especially… when there is much that has to be taken in faith. An appropriate question might be, what, if any, is helpful? I do believe, if given a chance, our kids would write us a letter and answer the questions left unanswered in the script we were handed. They wouldn’t want us suffering.
I did not write this but thank you to whoever did! 💜💜💜
A LETTER FROM HEAVEN
I wanted to send you a letter from Heaven because I see how difficult your days and nights have become for you and the family since I passed. I hear you asking why it is that I had to go to Heaven before you. You say, “How can it be possible for my child to pass before me!!??” I see the anger, the pain, the guilt, the frustration. I see the tears that you cry on your cheeks and in your soul every day since I Passed to Heaven. I have heard you ask God to take you as well so that you can be at my side in Heaven because you miss me so much. I see the struggle you have to get out of bed every morning. I know that when your feet hit the floor each day, I am the first thought that enters your mind. I also know that as you lie in bed at night, I am the last thought you have before you go to sleep. I see you find it almost impossible to simply be a part of the family now that you feel a piece of that family is “Missing”. I hear you scream at the top of your lungs when no one else is around to hear your cries. I know that your body physically aches with no explanation of where that pain comes from and since no one else can see that pain, they simply can’t understand it. I see the people in your life begin to get back to their routines and you wonder how that is even possible, how on Earth does the world not stop to let you catch your breath? The reason I am sending this letter from Heaven is because, I Love You, and today I want to help you to build a relationship with my soul.
The first thing you should know when it comes to me, is I’m Perfect in Every Way. There is no pain in Heaven. There are no negative thoughts, feelings, or emotions here in Heaven either. If you take the most perfect that you could ever imagine me to be and multiply that by infinity, then you may come close to knowing how perfect I am. I want you to take a “Step back to spirit” for a minute. I have learned so much since the moment that I passed and I want to share that knowledge with you because the more you know, the less you will fear in life. You and I knew eachother in Heaven for an Eternity before we lived this life together. You wrote your life long before you came here. Within your life’s path, you wrote obstacles so that your soul could learn and grow through your journey. You wrote within your life for me to be your child. You and I actually wrote this part together, you see because I also wrote you into my life to be my parent, best choice I ever made by the way…. I wanted you as my parent because you could give me all the love and support that my soul needed in life to reach it’s growth that I intended. We were going to share this journey together you and I and it was a pact we made long before we came here. Each and everyone of us lives to grow our soul. That growth comes from our struggles and obstacles in life and this is the part of my letter that is going to be most important for you to understand. “I never died that day…….. “ . The day that I passed to Heaven, my soul wasn’t touched by my passing. I am still just as alive as I was before I came to share my life with you. You see, my soul had reached the growth that I had intended for myself. I set that goal of growth for my soul long before I came to live this life and that day, when I reached the goal I had intended for my soul, I simply “Graduated To Heaven” before you. My Soul was so perfect in that Moment, that nothing in this Universe could have changed my Graduation that day. It was such an amazing day for me, although I know it was the Hardest Day you have ever Lived in life. The day that I Graduated to Heaven, I Blessed you on your Journey…. I know, it didn’t feel like a Blessing but, I want to explain. I Blessed you with more Strength and Love than you ever knew you could carry in this world. I Blessed your Soul with Growth that it never would have achieved without my Graduation that day. This is the moment in my letter where I want you to be proud. I want you to be proud of your strength, because spirits with your strength can move mountains with their baby finger. Only the strongest of spirits write the most difficult paths and you have written one of the most difficult paths ever to be lived…. A path that you continue while I am in Heaven…… I know, this is the moment that you wonder why on Earth you would plan to have a child pass? Why in the world would a parent plan this? How could I plan for this pain?? I have to remind you that without our struggles, we don’t find strength and YOU are one of the strongest souls I know…… I’m so proud to call you my parent.
I know you are probably thinking there is No possible way that I planned my own Graduation to happen when I was so young and if I had, then “Why did I pass that way??!!!” I want to explain that to you as well. On a Human level where you are, my passing is devastating. The thought of my passing, how I passed, was there pain, did I suffer, runs through your mind each and every day. For me, it became part of my Amazing Story and Legacy from the moment that I passed. See, spirits here have all kinds of stories to tell of how they arrived to Heaven. Each Graduation is so different. Some of these spirits had Cancer. Some of them passed in accidents. Some of them have had their lives taken by others. Some had Alzheimers. Some lived a long long long life and simply Graduated because of their age. Some spirts here passed before they were born and they were blessings of love and growth for parents that never had an opportunity to meet them in the physical world. Each and every spirit here has a story to tell of how they graduated, just like Me. My story is my favorite of course, well, because it is mine. Not everyone has a story the same as mine and not everyone has you included in their story and you are really important in my story. Plus, my spirit, was Completely untouched by my graduation. I know my body is the part of me that you feel so connected to, but I want you to know that my soul is more connected to you than you could ever dream. Although my body doesn’t carry on since my Graduation, my soul is still very much alive. Remember when I said that your soul knew my soul before we came there to live together. Well, your soul still knows my soul even though I am in Heaven and your soul will know my soul just the same some day when you return to Heaven too. Oh yes, we will be together again. Nothing in the Universe could keep us apart from one another. Your life that you continue to live is but a blink of an eye for us in Heaven. Heaven doesn’t have any sense of Time because it is an Eternally Beautiful Place and so, although it seems like forever for you while you miss me, just know that for me here in Heaven, it is different.
I see you from Heaven every single day that you live. I want you to understand where I am, so right now, please look down at the floor….. Now, go up 3 feet from your floor and stop right there!!!! That is where Heaven’s floor is!!! Yes, Heaven is only 3 feet off of your floor!!! I am all around you. I am in the space to your side and in front of you and behind you. It is the reason that I can see and hear you every moment while still enjoying the beautiful perfection of Heaven with God at the same time. I know you wonder if I can hear you and not only can I hear your words, but I also hear your thoughts too! Thoughts are made with your soul and here in Heaven we speak with our souls, so it is really simple for us to receive every thought you think to us. I hear you think of me in the morning and I hear you think of me at night too. I know you say that you want me back, but what I am trying to tell you is that I never left you. I am still right at your side cheering you on with every step you take in life. I stand at your side and lend you comfort in your difficult times too. I also think it is important that you know that I am not alone in Heaven. Every loved one in our family that passed is at my side. There are even loved ones here that you don’t remember in life but the moment that I got here, my soul knew them and we all love you so much!
Oh and the signs I send!!!! Yeah, we are limitless when it comes to sending you signs from Heaven. So, any time that you see something that catches your eye and reminds you of me, please know it is my way of letting you know I am there at your side from Heaven. Let go of your self doubt when you see my signs because it is really easy for your self doubt to tell you it wasn’t from me, but I promise it was. I know, sometimes your grief is so so so so deep that you don’t see my signs that I am sending you and that is okay. Grief clouds your ability to see the beauty in this world and that is really normal, so, don’t you worry, because I will just keep sending signs from Heaven until you can see them. If there is a break between my signs, it doesn’t mean that I am not there, it just means that I am giving you a little space to spread your wings as you grow through your grief, but I promise I haven’t left you.
I am the sun upon your face, I am the wind within your hair, I am the wings of birds in flight, and I will always be right there. You gave me the foundation I needed in life to succeed even if you didn’t realize it. You are such an amazing part of my Legacy and I am such an amazing part of your legacy. Some day, all of this will make sense. I know it hurts right now, but, I want you to know that you and I have a soul’s bond that is unbreakable. When you sit in silence and feel you are pretending what I would say in your thoughts, please know that is really me. When you sleep at night and you see me in your dreams, it is my soul spending time with your soul as your body gets the rest it needs, yes, that is really me with you. If you don’t remember seeing me in your dreams, that is okay, I will keep coming so don’t you worry. That is just your grief clouding your ability to enjoy beauty again and it is really normal. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are grieving wrong because you are living and living isn’t an easy thing to do and there is no wrong way of grieving.
You still have life to live and I want you to know that within every day that you live, I will be there. You are growing through every day that you walk in your path and I am so proud of your growth. I know that sometimes you feel like the world is passing you by, but even on those days, you really are doing your very best and I think you are pretty amazing. I want nothing in this world from you, but for you to find your smile and do all that makes you happy. Chase your dreams and know that as you do, I am right here at your side. Live your life in honor of me because I live my life through your eyes every day that you live.
I know you love me and please know how much I love you too. I couldn’t ask for a better parent to share my life with.
All of my Love, Your Precious Child In Heaven